…Clueless

This is what I hear these days when I talk to my peers. Now you must be thinking how in the world is that possible? Does my ear decode the audio frequencies in some different way? No!

Don’t you get it, its just the accent. I still haven’t been able to find out from where do people these days pick up the British, American or even the Australian accent. I know for sure that they haven’t been abroad. Maybe they picked it up at the airport while simply interacting with some foreigner.

Come on! Big deal. You can’t speak in English fluently, you can’t pronounce some words correctly… big shit. You can still eat, breathe and shit. Yay! Why pretend? Why be a fake?

Why is everyone so obsessed with talking in English these days? OK, why is my blog not in Hindi? Ummm… don’t know! Back to the topic, why do people feel that they need to constantly blabber some words in a foreign language just to look hip? Does swearing in a foreign language not count as a swear? Is it somewhat more sophisticated to use the F word instead of BC or MC?

“Oh yes! Words like Fuck, Damn, Crap, Shit sound so ultra cool!! They make me look so chic. I easily blend in with the others. People want to talk to me then. If I talk in Hindi or if I abuse in Hindi or Punjabi, I’ll be treated like a outcast.”

Some of you may think I’m exaggerating. I’m not. I’ve seen people transform over the years, lose their own identity and individuality and turn into some sort of repulsive fakes. Just a few months ago, one of my friends left Chandigarh to study engineering in some different part of the country. He came back and there was a visible change. Some for the better but mainly for the worse. He too had turned into some sort of a fake. He kept telling me how he found Hindi movies and Hindi music so boring and that he would never touch anything except for English movies and music. It was amusing. I couldn’t laugh in his face but I chuckled inside. Here was a guy, standing in front of me, who a few months back would listen to the desiest punjabi tracks. And now, he pretended as if he’d heard nothing but Pink Floyd, Linkin Park etc. since birth. Wait a minute, Linkin Park didn’t even exist back then !

I switch on the TV and all I see are the celebs with their fake accents, the kids on reality shows with their fake hip attitudes. I go to a café or a restaurant and there they are again with their fake accents and fake attitudes. Or is it me? Maybe I am a low-life, a loser. What the fuck, I have the freedom to be me.

I am not saying that talking in English is bad. Its great. But pretending to be something or someone you aren’t is something I really don’t admire. Deep inside, everyone has the urge to shed that fake mask, the fake style and let loose, to just take their hands down and scratch their butts , to make mistakes and just not be the sophisticated, English blabbering freaks. But then, you got hundreds of wannabes who are willing to scratch your butt for you!! Way to go!

This has to be the best review of Dhoom 2.
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And I thought Shadi Se Pehle and Zindagi Rocks were stupid movies…!!

This flick, Dhoom 2, is one shitty flick. I’m so exhausted after watching this that I can’t even think what to write about it. Fake stunts, fake characters, super fake story… I mean, what were they thinking when they made this movie?! The only thing worth looking at - Hrithik Roshan. No, I’m not gay!! The ladies in the movie sucked. Plain and simple.

And this is how we felt… at 8.15 PM, sitting inside a local bus, cold and tired… and totally bored.

If you go watch this movie, you are Doomed (yes, doom, not dhoom). And those who actually liked the movie, well… congratulations… you guys have enormous patience and mental strength.

I’ve already mailed this to most of you but those of you who haven’t read it, just give it a look. Its wonderful!

BE A KID AGAIN….

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If channels like Star News continue to run, then the Television deserves to be called the Idiot Box.

I mean… what the fuck!!?? In the evening, they had a special feature on “Bipasha in Bikini” (Bipasha in the promos of Dhoom2 and how the promos have made their way to the masala websites on the interent). What sort of news is this?? I remember, a few months back when Bipasha changed her hairstyle, they had special cooverage of that too. Don’t their journalists have anything better to do than surf porn and masala sites??!!

The whole Star Network is shitty. Star movies shows shitty movies, Star Plus is a fucking stupid behanji channel and Star One… what can I say!

On the other hand, my local cable walla is showing Pinjar. Seems cable walla has more sense than those fools running the Star Network.

Watching Haseena Maan Jayegi and I must say its one of the best comedy movies ever made!

So Rakhi Sawant now claims that Mika molested her. In her own words, “Mika kissed her in front of everybody and it was a lip-to-lip kiss“!!! For God’s sake, is she retarted? Lip-to-lip kiss!!!??? What the fuck is that??

Its just another cheap publicity stunt. It was the breaking news on all Indian News Channels. Star News got both Rakhi and Mika on the phone and made them talk on national television. Their conversation was hilarious!! Rakhi made a fool out of herself by crying and telling the reporters that Mika pulled her forcefully and she was hurt and her earings were damaged !!

The police lodged an FIR against her earlier and now Rakhi lodged an FIR against Mika. Woman…. you need help!!

Ummmm…. why am I even wasting my time writing this shit !!!???????

UPDATE:
I thought I should mention this too. Does anybody remember that last year Star News carried out a special report RED ALERT about some sex scandals in bollywood?? Well, the girl they caught was Rakhi Sawant. Although they blurred her face and never told her name but some cool guy managed to capture a blurred close-up clearly showing that it was Rakhi only. Bloody slut!!

Search the net for more on that story. You can easily find the video on DesiTorrents.

I was awfully bored since the last couple of days. I had decided I would download all the three Godfather movies and all the three parts of Cruel Intentions.

Although I’ve seen ‘em all before but they are great flicks.

Its 2.45AM and I just finished watching the first Cruel Intentions. Reese Witherspoon looked sucky. Her husband (real-life not reel-life), Ryan Phillippe looked good. Sarah Michelle Gellar….oh so sexy!!
I’m watching this movie for the fifth time and I can still see it again.

This will continue till I have watched all the six flicks. Keep watching this space…

Update :
The carnival is over people. Mum & Dad are back. Deleting the six flicks!!

Lata Mangeshkar. She sings well. She sings beautifully. Everybody likes her. But not me… until today.

I had only heard the songs she had sung in movies like Hum Aapke Hain Kaun etc. Had heard old songs too but couldn’t recognize her voice in them. I used to hate her voice… piercing through my ears…!

While chatting with Khanna, who is a die-hard fan of Lukka Chhuppi from Rang De Basanti these days, I thought why not play the song myself. And I must admit, the old lady has sung it beautifully… the lyrics are great… the music rocks… n her voice touches the heart!!

Rang De Basanti’s music is awesome. That’s all I can say. A.R. Rahman has done a superb job! Should get atleast a “desi” grammy for it.

Farewell.
Farewell..
Farewell…

DAMN!!

I never thought I’d get senti. Wuz laughing at Ankit in the morning cuz he wuz like…

Yaar ab kabhi phir school mein padhne nahin aayenge??!

And I was the one to laugh the loudest.

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