Apology
Written by Uthfull on May 20, 2006 – 11:35 amI wish to apologise to Jaskiran, Nabeel, Divya and Kumar. I was in a crazy mood yesterday and still am. I did not reply to your messages properly. Dunno what is bugging me.
Fuck… I feel like a failure. Dunno why!! Nobody has said anything to me; haven’t fought with anyone.
Sitting on the computer isn’t cheering me up. Earlier, I used to start thinking bout pretty girls when I was depressed. But surprisingly, I don’t feel like doing that this time. I searched the depths of my HDD for some porn. I thought maybe that would “cheer” me up. But no, I gave up on that one too.
Last night I lay on my stomach, putting drops of Fevi-Kwick (instant adhesive) on the ants walking on the floor. Just looking at them sticking to the floor and dying gave me some sort of sadistic pleasure. I felt so miserable that I wanted to cry - cry out loud!!
I still feel sad and sucky. Dunno whats wrong. Maybe I need to kill myself.
I changed my wallpaper again. The sexy Alessandra Ambrosio has been removed. The latest wallpaper :

You see, I’m not lying when I say I’m sad. Why would anyone choose not to look at a sexy model everyday? I just changed the wallpaper, dunno why!!! I NEED HELP!!
Some other posts that might interest you :
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- Desktop Revamped : I again changed my wallpaper. And my oh my doesn't it look awesome. This time its Alessandra Ambrosio. Looking breathtaking....
- Kiss me! : I'm currently listening to this awesome track. Its a little old but its way too beautiful!!! Sincepence None The Richer...
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Posted in Feelings, Journal, Life, Stupid Me! |
May 20th, 2006 at 11:48 am
rahul…..its absolutely alrught if u didnt reply me properly!!
i dnt know…but yestrday even i could sense that there is somethng missin in u!! i even wantd to ask at one time, ‘is that u rahul???’!
but beleive me its absolutly alright!!
even i went thru such a phase few days back. this is happening bcos we are complty free nowdays,have nothin to do,nd the results comin near gives goosebumps!!!
pls relax rahul….u have just few more papers left!
TAKE CARE!
May 20th, 2006 at 1:26 pm
Its Ok Dyoode.
See Life is full of surprises.
Sadistic pleasure may bring some smile on ur face. I too get that pleasure wen I am enjoying Chicken/Mutton.
May b U need to find some way out.
Wen I feel the same I will call my mom, dad, sis, pals, cousins or relatives…
If it fails I will try sketching…
If it also fails, I will read some crap…
If it failsI will…
Have not gone that far.
Calling everyone means rise in fone bill and that feeling takes over and all the sad/bad/worrying/useless feelings are no more around me.
U too start calling every one and see the result.
btw good wall paper
May 20th, 2006 at 2:51 pm
don’t you worry man , i think its the same feeling all of us are experiencin . i guess jassi s right coz we’re free . but then dis s not somethin dat can change our ever so cheerfool ,’ Rahul da man ‘ so buckle up coz its jst a matter of time . neways best of luck
May 20th, 2006 at 3:46 pm
Saale cheer”fool” !!!??
Life sucks!! I wanna bungee…
May 20th, 2006 at 4:09 pm
u dint reply: NOT A PROB AT ALL. if u wanna cheer up do these things n these will work:—
1. shout it out in the rally today. take out all the frustration( even if the reason is not clear). just let it be the day for your vocal-chords, trust me its gonna work like hell.
2. change the theme of your blog(it takes time to open
), visit the blog of other ppl. comment on their blogs and again wait 4 their comments in response of others.
and please dun kill ANTS. dun post about nething serious on TMp, its gonna make u feel worse. try reading old jokes at TF.
1 more thing which will make u feel better—send ur good pals e-cards about how good they are or give then 5s.
best of all–go to someone’s house, ring their bell and run as if hell broke lose! another, step on some dog’s tail.
main thing—keep urself more than occupied
and not 2 forget—cheer up and rock on.
May 20th, 2006 at 8:00 pm
Hows this theme?
May 20th, 2006 at 8:32 pm
arre bhai dont worry —tu tension naa le—-we all r with you
Maidaan e jang mein girte ghud swaar hi hain—woh kya girenge jo ghutno ke bal chlein hain
this means that——
Only the ones who have the courage to stand can Fall, not those who are already on their knees”
so cheer up dude!!!!
May 20th, 2006 at 8:34 pm
@Rahul–definitely better!
@Arjun—v.well said !
May 21st, 2006 at 1:41 pm
hey rahul…i dont know u much…but let me tell u smething, being a sadist is nt a prob at all…
my advice,try to listen to sme good music but different kinda music,
a little change sometimes can do wonders…
May 21st, 2006 at 6:38 pm
oye rahul i know ki result paas hai iss liye aise filling hai!!!n also first time in 12 u gonna pass………..lolz..n best of luck for ur paper cya bye tc
May 21st, 2006 at 7:52 pm
o re chora, ke karan laag riya,
ghani themes kathi ho gayi hain HDD par
ek ek kar ke apply kar raha hai…
this one is ok, liked it
May 22nd, 2006 at 1:35 am
Nice theme. And cheer up Rahul! We all pass thru this kind of phase sometime or the other.
May 22nd, 2006 at 10:40 pm
hi rahul, come on yaar, dont hve to be sorry for those trivial things, you have a long way to go, cheer up, and what you seek is waiting for you all along , so go get it.just look at the sun it says i fell last night , here im bouncing back , a new day has begun get down to work. keep going as life goes on… and ther is this one man army always standing behind you.when i say.. i mean it.
May 23rd, 2006 at 9:58 am
rahul!!! you passed!!!
happy now? that should cheer you up! and omg, 72 in chem????? haa haa haa! remember some1 cryin’? damn good bro! 
May 24th, 2006 at 1:53 pm
how cud u do that to the poor ants?? thats mean!!
May 25th, 2006 at 1:12 pm
Hey rahul!!Congrats!!u finally cleared maths n physics! 91 in physical education [shows how well u had crammed everything.......................*cough**cough*] hehehe! N now, i guess uv got 2 stop cribbin’ n cheer up dear!!
May 25th, 2006 at 1:51 pm
@tabs-wha? that’s not very mean. don’t you kill mosquitoes??? don’t you eat chicken?? it’s a chain. it is kinda stupid and pointless though cz it’s not gonna cheer up rahul, just give him a moment of high, and then major guilt. any rahul, hope you’re happy now! 92 in phys ed!!!! damn. i think uv topped!
May 26th, 2006 at 11:46 am
hummm, uneasy calm, man U cleared ur boards and now to avoid any party or treat u dont update ur blog, thats one nishaani of kanjusi.
congrats dude
May 30th, 2006 at 3:57 pm
Avantika –> Prolly NFAK… sufi music is gonna cheer me up for sure!
Kalyani –> We all pass thru this phase…. but I generally never feel so low.
Niharika –> Thanks. Kamini, you got 93 in English!!!
And yaar that crying thing was all a drama. And I didn’t top in Physed… someone from our school got 100!!
Ritima –> Yes I finally cleared Maths & Physics!!! Yipeeee!
Tabs –> Thanks for stopping by. Me n Ants go a long way. When I was little, I used to play with them (dumb…. I know). I just wanted to fight, kill myself or someone that day. I din have a punching bag, killing was out of the question. Ants, my old pals came to the rescue!!
May 30th, 2006 at 6:36 pm
omg!!!! 100??? which fuckall loser got that!???? screw him! (or her)